• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Geek Club Books

Autism Education, Awareness, Acceptance, Advocacy

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Home
  • About
    • Autism Storytelling for Hope and Change
    • Speaking
    • Creative Team & Educational Specialists
    • Advisory Board
    • Our Benefactors
    • Press
    • Privacy Policy
    • Disclaimer
  • Blog
    • All Articles and Interviews
    • Articles By Author
  • Families
    • Welcome Autism Families!
    • Autism Resources Bundle!
    • Freebies
    • Mighty League Autism Moms
  • Educators
    • Welcome Educators!
    • Autism EDU
    • Bluebee TeeVee, Autism Information Station
    • School Visits
  • Comics
    • Autism Comics Overview
    • Autism in Real Life Comic
    • Autism Spectrum Comic
    • End Awareness Comic
    • Understanding Autism Comic
    • Mighty League 1: Autistic Hero Comic
    • Mighty League 2: Autistic Hero Comic Book
  • Resources
    • How to Find Resources
    • Asking Autistics
    • Autistic Self-care
    • Amazon Autism Book Shop
    • What is Autism?
    • Books By Autistic Authors
    • What is Autism Awareness?
    • Autism Glossary
    • Autism Myths
    • Autistic or Person with Autism?
    • Speech and Language
    • Autism Business Ideas
  • Zoom Magazine
    • Issue 18: The Black Autistic Experience
    • Issue 17: Health
    • Issue 16: Travel
    • Issue 15: Powerful Women
    • Issue 14: Trailblazers
    • Issue 13: Family
  • Take Action
    • How to Advocate for Autism
      • #Activate4Autism
      • Activator Heroes
    • Make a Difference
  • Contact
  • Donate

I AM Awesome

May 15, 2014 By Jodi Murphy 2 Comments

Share on TwitterShare on FacebookShare on PinterestShare on LinkedInShare on RedditShare on WhatsApp

Lydia Wayman "I AM awesome"

By Lydia Wayman

I am awesome… not despite my autism but precisely because of it.

I haven’t always been able to celebrate my differences.  In elementary school, the other kids teased me about my tics.  As I got older, I developed with increasing difference from my peers, and by the time I was 16, I didn’t have a single friend in a high school of 2000 kids.  I combined my junior and senior years into one, which meant that I had so much homework that I didn’t have time to care about not having friends.  I didn’t go to my senior prom.  By my senior year in a small, private, elite college, I had a 3.90 GPA, no real friends, and a huge fear of professors after having rubbed too many of them the wrong way.

I was 20 years old and a senior when I joined the color guard for marching band, one of my only extracurricular activities.  Quickly, I connected to Leigh, a junior and psychology major.  She soon realized that I struggled to get along with the other girls and thought maybe I could use a friend, not out of pity, but a true good heart.

Over the next weeks, she picked up on my quirks… differences not just in the way I relate to other people but also in the way I communicated (I struggle verbally but type very well) and my narrow, intense interests.  The “magic triad” must have rung a bell in Leigh’s head; she had done a lengthy paper on the autism spectrum and, even though every teacher and professional had missed it up to that point, she knew what was in front of her.

I was diagnosed in January of 2009, and the three years that followed my diagnosis were chock full of difficulties.  I was not able to complete my student teaching assignment; I was so overwhelmed by the social and communication and sensory demands that I became physically sick.  My grandmother, who made my world go ‘round, passed away during that semester.  Upon graduating, I returned home and intensely regressed.  I had spent 21 years forcing my square-peg, autistic self into round, neurotypical holes, and I reached a point that I could not do it one more day.  I withdrew, hardly spoke for almost two years, and had daily meltdowns resulting from a world that was simply too much.

I had extensive services for the next two years.  I had therapy of many kinds, over a dozen different medications, and social groups.  But, none of those things brought me to a point of being able to function.  If anything, they made things worse.  The big ticket, the key to being a happy autistic person… is allowing myself to be autistic.  My neurology is different; if I force myself to try to live like an NT, then I won’t be a happy NT but a miserable autistic person, which is exactly what I was at my low point.  As I began to allow myself to accommodate for my own needs, whether that meant having a fidget in my backpack, never wearing pants with buttons and zippers, typing to communicate when necessary, carrying transition items, or chilling out with Disney movies because I so happen to really enjoy them, I had to lose the obsessive worry about what “they” will think and do the things and live the life that allowed me to be a happy me and not a fake version of some other person, someone I don’t even recognize.

Autism isn’t what made my life so hard at times…it was living in a world that isn’t made for me.  I also refuse to say that my life is harder than anyone else’s—it’s just hard in a different way.  There are things, from writing poetry to being true to myself to standing under peer pressure, that are tough for most NTs but easy for me because of my autism.

I have learned to use aspects of my autism in ways that allow me to excel in what I do.  Through my writing and speaking, I teach parents and professionals about living with autism.  I have written two books and various articles.  I may have a hard time speaking freely, but I can write my presentations in advance then read them to my audiences.  I enjoy consulting for families, helping them to problem-solve and decode their kids’ behavior for them.  I am doing very well in a graduate program for English and creative writing; I am on track to graduate in November and, as of now, I have a 4.00 average.  It is because of autism that I have an incredible command of grammar and unique stories and insights to share with the world.  I hope to use my Master’s degree to become an online adjunct professor, where my autism will give me an understanding for all types of learners and the unique ability to adapt my instruction to suit their needs.

I live a different kind of life, but, shouldn’t I expect that, since I have a different kind of brain?  My neurology makes some things harder; that’s okay, because it’s true of any kind of brain wiring.  My wiring also makes some things easier, and so does yours.  The important thing is that we all have a place in this world; we all belong; we’re all awesome, not despite our differences… but precisely because of them.

Read about Lydia

If you liked this post, you may also like:

  • Make a Promise to Yourself
  • 3 Reasons Our Son’s Autism Diagnosis is an Open Book
Share on TwitterShare on FacebookShare on PinterestShare on LinkedInShare on RedditShare on WhatsApp

Filed Under: Autistic Speaks, Blog Haps Tagged With: autism advocacy, Autistic Speaks, Lydia Wayman

About Jodi Murphy

Jodi Murphy is the founder of Geek Club Books, a registered nonprofit committed to creating a world where autistic individuals are fully accepted, valued and have a voice. Her priority is bringing autistic individuals creative and leadership opportunities that are meaningful, empowering and support their advocacy. She works with a creative autistic team to produce pop culture-based autism awareness education that is innovative, engaging, positive and opens hearts and minds to a new way of thinking about autism. Sign up for Geek Club Books mailing list for free apps, resource guides, curriculum, audio stories and more: https://geekclubbooks.com/autism-bundle.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Chris says

    June 13, 2017 at 12:53 pm

    My fifteen-year-old son is on the Autism Spectrum. He is not awesome because of his autism but because he is a human being. Having autism is a lifelong challenge with its downside and upside attributes. I could say Lydia’s autism makes her more awesome than my son as she can articulate her thoughts well. The Asperger side of autism does have some significant advantages.

    Reply
    • Jodi Murphy says

      June 13, 2017 at 1:06 pm

      Thanks for sharing Chris! Yes, it does just boil down to the fact that being who you are as a human being makes you awesome. What I appreciate about Lydia’s essay is that she accepts herself and that gives her the confidence to find her place in the world.

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Join Our Neurodiverse Community:

Read Our Current Issue:

Search

Latest

  • Can a Children’s Book Make You (and Your Kids) More Curious about Space?
  • Why My Autistic Daughter’s College Experience will be Better than Mine
  • Why I’m Letting Go to Let My Transformation Happen
  • #AskingAutistics: What Triggers Your Meltdowns?
  • #ReadYourWorld – How Does It Feel to Have Sensory Differences?

Topics

  • 501c3 Mission (8)
  • Anxiety (8)
  • App & Product Reviews (12)
  • Autimisms (29)
  • Autism Acceptance (13)
  • Autism at Work (9)
  • Autism Entrepreneurs (17)
  • Autism Resources (6)
  • Blog Haps (543)
  • Buzz (6)
  • Classroom (15)
  • Curious Interviews (118)
  • Day in the Life (9)
  • Dorktales (4)
  • Impactful Blogs (9)
  • Labels (4)
  • Love (5)
  • Mighty League (31)
  • Neurodiversity (2)
  • Our Personal Autism Journey (28)
  • Penfriend Project Autism Columns (221)
    • Adriana's Awesome Autistic Book Lists (2)
    • Aspierations (16)
    • Autism Insider (77)
    • Autistic Speaks (27)
    • Being Brave (26)
    • Chloe Rothschild (3)
    • Fidgets and Fries (3)
    • Happy Aspie (9)
    • My Shaynanigans (8)
    • Neurodivergent Rebel (21)
    • Positively Autistic (17)
    • Proud Autistic Living (6)
    • Tud Sense (5)
  • Pop Culture (8)
  • Safety (8)
  • Self-Care (7)
  • Self-Esteem (3)
  • Self-Improvement (10)
  • Sensory Needs (10)
  • Social Skills (4)
  • Speech and Language (6)
  • Tell Us Your Story (29)
  • Zoom Autism (64)

Footer

Stay Connected

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Copyright © 2021 Geek Club Books

To improve your experience on our site we may use cookies. Find out more.